How to open a random chat so the conversation actually continues
Why most first messages end the chat, and what to write instead. Choosing a question, avoiding the interrogation opener, and what to say when they answer.
Most chats die in the first three messages
The usual place a random chat ends is right after the greeting. They replied, you replied, and then neither of you has anything to hold on to. It almost never means they were uninterested. It means the opening gave them nothing to answer.
What happens when you only send "hi"
A bare greeting puts the other person in exactly the same position you are in: they can say hi back, and then you are both stuck. Politeness is covered, but there is no material to work with.
The greeting is not the problem. A greeting on its own is.
One extra line changes it
Add either a bit of context or a question, and the other person suddenly has something to grab. "On my way home, bored on the bus" tells them why you are here, and it gives them permission to say why they are.
Pick one of the two, not both. A situation plus a question is a lot to answer at once and can feel like work.
Pick questions that are easy to answer
The shape of the question decides whether a reply comes back. Good ones need a little thought and no courage.
Yes or no questions end the chat
"Did you eat?" can only be answered with yes or no, and then you are back to silence. "What did you have?" produces a menu, and the menu is your next topic. Same interest, completely different outcome.
Questions without a correct answer run long
Taste, what they have been watching, what they would never order again. There is no single right answer, so people write more.
Age, city and job all have one-word answers. Asked in a row at the start, they stop feeling like a conversation and start feeling like a form.
What not to put in the first message
Wanting to get along makes people load the opening with too much. The heavier it gets, the further the other person backs off.
Three personal questions at once
Age, location and job arriving together is three things to answer. One is enough, and the rest come out on their own once people are talking.
Looks, in the first line
Photos or appearance in an opening line land as being assessed. If they had wanted to raise it they would have, and they usually have not yet.
What to say when they reply
A good opening can still die on the second message. What you do with their answer is what actually keeps things going.
Hand the question back
If they asked where you live, answer it and then add "and you?". That is the cheapest possible way to get one more round, and forgetting it ends more chats than any bad opener does.
Offer something of your own
Questions on their own feel like an interview. Give a little first and they relax. Just do not give everything at once — spread it out.